I can’t help but see death in everything. life begets death which begets more life. there is no escape and it all reeks of desperation and destruction. how exactly does this add up to something? farce with no end. onward march. with nothing to learn here I pass through. squander my hours immersed in trivial nothing. I journey on. not knowing if a destination exists. pulled forward by a...
I’m lost in the details. minutia. nipple.breast.ribs.hips. I want to live in there. buried in your viscera. know you down to your dna. the blueprint. the magical code. but I am outside you. independent. apart. you don’t trifle with such thoughts. you are in the now. unleashed and in no way cursed like me. hence my desire for escape.
green speckles fading into a smattering of brown. true black at the center. dilation. or not. inside resides the soul. the truth. she wants something more. recognition but not notoriety. something substantial. maybe even just to hide. contradiction. I am outside looking in. seeing what I want to see. completion. a correction of past mistakes. something I’m not sure I deserve. hence my...
a slow death
eyes closed. shut off from the world. just you and the darkness and the light. a dance of shadow across your face. the awakening realization. that shadow was created by me. you don’t seem to notice. and then I think of sirens in the night. subtle psychological scars. the build up of damaged eardrums and upset canines. those cursed little things we don’t even realize are killing...
I guess I’m still holding out hope. and you’re the stand in. the face of this particular dream. the landscape of my secret desire. I hold you close, silently. you’re the thing I won’t speak. I’ll deny you three times before the sun rises. my entire life is a betrayal of you. there is shame and longing. I lower my head, knowing you’re the normalcy I wish I...
an open letter to my addiction
though you’ve finally revealed yourself as the coal black demon sucking the life out of me, it wasn’t always this way. there was a time when you cradled and loved me. accepted me as I was. it was a moment of originality. no one had ever accepted me before. that’s how you lulled me. that’s how you owned me. but I don’t want to be owned anymore. I want freedom. I...
the tail eater
an implosion. destruction and the genesis. I guess i should be grateful to be here. listening to sirens in the night. with my running commentary. pure existence is a rare occasion. but I am overcome. irritated by the noise and commotion. disgusted by the falseness of it all. questing solace. this place is going to give me a heart attack. this is not what I want. this is not what I want....